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50 Ways to Fail at Security


Maybe it’s an xray vision camera? (Source)

Which came first…the sign or the camera? Either way, somebody must have been under the influence during that installation!

Hopefully nothing worth taping will happen in the next few minutes.

Hopefully nothing worth taping will happen in the next few minutes. (Source)

Spend all the money you like on a high-security camera system, they are no match for the oldest trick in the book! Balloons – the burglary tools of the future.

Just in case anyone was thinking about stealing that sign.

Just in case anyone was thinking about stealing that sign. (Source)

Displaying to customers that they are “not” being monitored by a closed-circuit security camera system is not exactly a good marketing plan. However, a store that lists ketchup and toothpaste on the same sign probably doesn’t have to worry much.

Now that will be one exciting surveillance tape!

Now that will be one exciting surveillance tape! (Source)

The placement of the camera makes the content of that “Warning” sign completely ineffective. I wonder how long it will take the security guards to figure out that they’ve been filming a wall?

I see you!

Either the artificial intelligence of security cameras has gone Wall-E, or an employee is going to have some explaining to do!

Edit: Kristoffer commented below that this pic of the cameras facing each other “is actually a work of street art criticizing the big brother society. Is’s in Malmö, Sweden. Nobody has removed it for the last year.”

MOTOR VEHICLES

Chains! Must add more chains!

Chains! Must add more chains! (Source)

Not only are the front and rear doors chained together (what is the purpose of that, exactly? To only allow a burglar to open both doors at once?), the rear wheel is chained to… a tree. It also appears that the front wheel is chained to … a post? A peg? Either the owner of this car lives in a very, very high-crime area, or they are attempting to start a new trend in auto security.

The very latest in vehicle security.

The very latest in vehicle security. (Source)

This wonderful advancement in car security systems also uses the advanced technology of chains. Actually, it looks as if there’s enough slack on that chain to at least get the car into reverse. Also, what exactly is the other end of that chain attached to? Pro Tip: You may want to invest in a car alarm instead.

Now that's a lock that took some effort!

That lock took a lot of effort to…wait…do you see the alarm sticker too?! (Source)

With the considerable effort that it must have taken to drill two holes in the metal body of the car, it may have been possible to pay the $40 to an auto mechanic to get the door handle fixed. Also, having a padlock on your door pretty much negates the effectiveness of having an “Alarm” window decal.

At least the umbrella matches the paint job.

At least the umbrella kinda matches the paint job. (Source)

Having a sunroof is not necessarily a luxury when it gets stuck open. Not to worry, a simple umbrella will fix everything! Though this might prevent some of the water from getting inside the car, it’s probable that a large blue-and-white umbrella could be a potential invitation for burglars to take advantage of the open sunroof.

Now that's one securely locked motorcycle.

Now that’s one securely locked motorcycle. (Source)

Only in New York! In most cities, you would think that taking the keys to your motorcycle is enough. However, if you are looking for some extra security, might as well cable-lock your bike to a curb guard(?) Though it would probably take the thief a it of time to remove the cable from the wheel, this would only apply if they were looking to ride the stolen motorcycle from the scene of the crime.

At least it's waterproof.

At least it’s waterproof. (Source)

Duct-tape windows are a pretty common occurrence. Despite violating several vehicle visibility safety rules, duct tape is a popular “quick-fix” tool for automobile repair. However, if someone wanted to break into a car with a duct-tape window, all they would need is a simple pocketknife! As attractive as duct-tape might be, you may want to invest in having your window fixed instead.

I wonder what they keep in there?

I wonder what they keep in there? (Source)

car lock epic failz

This one stumped me…is the lock there to keep somebody in? or out? (Source)

Given that there is a zero security rating on having that type of lock on your car, it can only be assumed that the owner installed it simply to keep the door from blowing open.

This car is Burglar-Proof.

This car is Burglar-Proof. (Source)

Only in East LA.

Padlocks are like duct tape, you can use it anywhere! (Source)

Either the trunk locking mechanism on this car is broken, or the owner is hiding something very, very mysterious in their trunk. Either way, installing a padlock on your car is a great way to stay classy!

No way any burglar can steer it now!

No way any burglar can steer it now! (Source)

A subtle mix of class and security. There’s nothing like making a bold statement to burglars by chaining your steering wheel to your emergency brake. Let’s just hope you never have to make a quick getaway yourself!

When you fear that someone will steal your car, chain it to a tree!

When you fear that someone will steal your car, chain it to a stump?! (Source)

I don’t know what is more depressing, the fact that the owner thinks someone would WANT to steal this car, or that a potential thief might not be intelligent enough to use wire cutters…

I guess they're not that worried about someone breaking into their RV.

A thief will just have to imagine that the key isn’t there… (Source)

Perhaps they assumed that nothing in their RV is really worth stealing. Or, more likely, they assumed that leaving the key in the lock would distract potential burglars with sheer stupidity!

At least they cant get away without SOME damage to your car...

At least they can’t get away without SOME damage to your car… (Source)

BIKE SECURITY

It's okay, you'll catch him when your pedals, seat and wheels show up on ebay.

It’s okay, you’ll catch him when your pedals, seat and wheels show up on ebay. (Source)

The owner of the bike at least took a bit of effort to actually put the bike lock chain around the frame of the bike. However, that didn’t stop the law-abiding citizens of NYC from stealing the rest of his bike. For what purpose? Either they’re currently constructing an abstract art sculpture made of random bike parts, or they’re in enough of a financial rut to try pawning off bike seats.

I wonder what a theif will do with half of a bicycle?

Did the thief ride off on the bike like it was a unicycle? (Source)

Talk about depressing – Imagine coming back to pick up your bicycle and finding only a single wheel! This should be a good lesson – always have your bike securely fastened through the frame and both wheels of the bike. Never use a cable-lock, since even the “heavy duty” models can easily be sliced through in about 1 1/2 minutes with a hacksaw.

Anyone have a pair of wire-cutters?

Anyone have a pair of wire-cutters? (Source)

This is a classic bike lock fail! Though the bike owner did purchase a secure “U-Lock” mechanism, notice that they only hooked it through a single, thin spoke on the wheel. With a small amount of force, the bike could be disingaged from the lock with minimal damage. Actually, a thief might even be able to ride the bicycle to escape the scene of the crime!

Never underestimate the power of a false sense of security.

Never underestimate the power of a false sense of security. (Source)

The thought process of this person as they “locked” their bicycle must have been quite interesting! Perhaps they were late for a “Harry Potter” movie screening on campus. Maybe the cafeteria was running out of dumplings. Whatever the reason, there aren’t many words to describe this particular “Epic Bike Lock Fail”.

bike lock epic fail

Seriously…why would you even take the time to lock your bike up here? (Source)

What makes this “bike lock fail” even worse, is that it’s so incredibly obvious! The temptation to steal a new bike might be enough to incite even honest people to take advantage of this person’s carelessness.

At least he made an effort!

Somewhere, there is a man with very loose pants. (Source)

Now this is a bit creative. Someone had enough “ingenuity” to be carrying around a Master lock, but no bike lock. However, even though this Macgyver-like inventive bike lock does have a bit of creativity, disengaging this bicycle from its post would only require the use of a heavy-duty boxcutter.

Notice that the ends of the cable aren't connected.

Notice that the ends of the cable aren’t connected. (Source)

Well, at least the owner of this bike made an effort. However, as with all cable locking mechanisms, they are much, much more effective when both ends of the cable are attached – Just a quick tip.

In a bike model with a quick-release frame, this lock isn’t doing much good. (Source)

It’s entirely possible that a potential bike thief will have enough knowledge to identify a quick-release bike frame. Then again, one would think the owner would know better than to put a U-lock in between the wheel and the frame!

Sometimes you have to wonder what is going through people’s heads… (Source)

Not only is the bike lock made of plastic-coated metal (a big no-no), the bike can simply be lifted off of the post and ridden off. The sad thing is that even if this bike gets stolen, the owner will most likely still not learn their lesson.

DOOR SECURITY

Chair Barricade!

Zombie style chair barricade! (Source)

When you are on a low budget, just use the wonderful things you have learned from every zombie apocalypse movie since the 1960′s. Metal chairs meet all of your security neeeds.

Oh, right, to lock the door, you first have to break the window.

Oh, right, to lock the door, you first have to break the window. (Source)

Well it may not look pretty, but it sure gets the job done.

I'll bet this doesn't comply with standard fire safety codes.

I’ll bet this doesn’t comply with standard fire safety codes. (Source)

If a burglar plans to escape through door, this may slow him down a bit. However, you might want to add an extra ten minutes on to getting to work each morning.

I don't think it works as well when you leave the key in the lock.

I don’t think it works as well when you leave the key in the lock. (Source)

Teh door is teh locked.

MacGyver wouldn’t even dare… (Source)

Plastic chairs are such versatile security tools! Well, with everything in the store already 70% off, the criminals would only be getting away with the other 30%.

Let's hope those hedges grow fast.

Some say this picture depicts Microsoft Windows security. (Source)

In retrospect, it might have been more effective to install the door after the hedges had grown. Now, for the next few months, people are going to be snapping pictures of your yard, and submitting them to failblog.

RANDOM SECURITY

This is definitely one of those things that you shouldn't be advertising.

This is definitely one of those things that you shouldn’t be advertising. (Source)

For the next five minutes, the security of this building will be left to the “honor system”. Please refrain from stealing, assaulting, burning or otherwise damaging any of the property herein.

Don't worry, black duct tape is burglar-proof!

Don’t worry, black duct tape is burglar-proof! (Source)

The best way to discourage cash-pilfering ninjas is to use duct tape! Everyone knows that duct tape is a ninja’s one weakness…

Next time, you should hire a more security-conscious locksmith.

Next time, you should hire a more security-conscious locksmith. (Source)

Don’t worry, none of your employees will remember that new code. Instead, they’ve all got it saved in a memo file on their Blackberries.

Creative but... ineffective.

Creative but… ineffective. (Source)

Judging from the handprints on this sign, the “Anti-Climbing” paint hasn’t been working out for them so far. Maybe they should install barbed wire instead.

The security system at that store must not have been very effective.

The security system at that store must not have been very effective. (Source)

Remember those pesky security tags that always get in the way at the fitting room? Fear no more! If you’re like this woman, you can bypass the security system and simply walk out of the store wearing their merchandise. I wonder if the price tag is still on that lovely shirt?

An actual sign posted on the door of an office building.

An actual sign posted on the door of an office building. (Source)

What would you do, if you saw this note on the door of your workplace? Needless to say, knowing that in case of a fire, someone will be screaming “FIRE FIRE FIRE!” makes everyone feel a whole lot safer.

Locking the corner of a wall against itself is a great way to protect your security!

Locking the corner of a wall against itself is a great way to protect a room! (Source)

This particular ingenius lock is located at an educational institution. It can only be assumed that this is a school for gifted students, who wouldn’t know that locking a wall to itself isn’t the same as locking a door.

Hopefully your card number isn't stored on this ATM.

Hopefully your card number isn’t stored on this ATM. (Source)

When using an ATM, this is not exactly what you expect to see – The operating system isn’t even Windows 2000! If a thief has a bit of technical know-how, he may be able to snatch an early Christmas bonus.

Let's just hope criminals are that gullible!

Let’s just hope criminals are that gullible! (Source)

Nothing like leaving a note saying “This door is unlocked” for potential criminals to find. However, the personal message for robbers and rapists might actually work, provided that the criminal has an IQ under 60.

There's no need for a security system, when you have a laser-eyed cat.

There’s no need for a security system, when you have a laser-eyed cat. (Source)

Talk about home security! Any thief looking to break through this door would think twice with that evil-eyed cat staring at him. However, it may still be much smarter to simply fix the door.

You dont have to be able to think outside the box to figure this one out...

You don’t have to be able to think outside the box to figure this one out… (Source)

Perhaps the fence itself will be discouraging enough?

You picked the wrong job to catch a few Zs at the office...

You picked the wrong job to catch a few Z’s at the office… (Source)

Protip: Don’t hire this guy to be your night security guard.

A security gaurd asleep on the job? How original!

A security guard asleep on the job? How original! (Source)

Protip: Don’t hire this woman to be your daytime security guard.

I dont think that was supposed to happen...

I don’t think that was supposed to happen… (Source)

No wonder today’s hackers are getting lazy. The computers do it for them!

Always remember, your cat CANNOT be trusted!

Always remember, your cat CANNOT be trusted! (Source)

Don’t underestimate your cat’s uber-hacking abilities. It’s always the one that you least suspect.